As we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.
Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
Marlon Vance is a seasoned sports analyst with over a decade of experience in betting markets, specializing in data-driven predictions and strategy development.
